上篇 思维短路

1 Time

First Drunkard: Say, know what time it is？

Second Drunkard: Yeah.

First Drunkard: Thanks.

时间

第一个醉鬼：喂，知道几点了吗？

第二个醉鬼：知道。

第一个醉鬼：谢谢。

2 Bigamy

“She’s married to a real‐estate agent and a good, honest fellow, too.”

“My gracious! Bigamy？”

重婚

“她嫁给了一个房地产商，嫁给了一个诚实的好人。”

“天哪！是重婚？”

3 Looking All Over for It

“Look here, waiter, I just found a collar‐button in my soup.”

“Oh, thank you, sir. I have been looking all over for it.”

正在到处找它

“服务员，我刚在汤里发现一枚领扣。”

“噢，谢谢你，先生，我正在到处找它呢。”

4 Thanks to the Bookbinder

A London reviewer discussed a long and rambling philo‐sophic treatise,“All the connection in this book is owing to the bookbinder.”

多亏装订工人

一位伦敦评论家谈论一篇冗长松散的哲学论文时说：“多亏了装订工人，这本书的内容才联成了一体。”

5 Let Them Go

A man was applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, “Now these are real tough guys here. Do you think you can handle it？”

“No problem.”the applicant replied,“If they don’t behave, I will let them go.”

让他们滚

一个人申请当监狱看守。监狱长说：“这可都是些不好对付的家伙，你觉得你能处理好吗？”

“没问题，”申请者回答说，“如果他们不规矩，我就让他们滚出去。”

6 How Do They Get Along？

“That’s marvelous, having a lion and a monkey in the same cage. ”said the visitor to a small zoo,“How do they get along？”

“Okay, usually.”answered the zookeeper,“Occasionally they have a disagreement, and we have to get a new monkey. ”

它们怎么相处的？

“让猴子和狮子呆在同一只笼子里真是奇迹，”游客对一家小动物园说。“它们是怎么相处的呢？”

“一般没事，”动物园看守回答说。“偶尔它们会有不同意见，这样我们就得再换一只猴子。”

7 Shirt

I asked a colleague of mine how he liked the shirt his daughter had given him as a gift.“The color and the design are nice. ”he said,“But the sleeves are two inches too long.”

I suggested that perhaps it was made for a much taller man.“I don’t think so. ”he said,“If I stand on my toes. It still fits the same.”

衬衣

我问同事是否喜欢他女儿送的衬衣。“颜色和款式都不错，”他说，“就是袖子长了二英寸。”

我说或许它是为个头更高的人做的。“我想不是。”他说，“我踮起脚尖，它还是一样长。”

8 Accident

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped and returned to the gate. After waiting over an hour, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant,“What happened？”

“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine. ”said the attendant,“It took us almost an hour to find another pilot. ”

事故

飞机正沿着跑道前进，突然停下来，回到了大门口。等了一小时后，飞机总算起飞了。

一名忧心忡忡的乘客问空中小姐发生了什么事。

“飞行员受到引擎中的噪音的影响，”空中小姐回答说。“我们花了将近一小时时间才找到另一名飞行员。”

9 The Conductor

The exceedingly stout lady indignantly tackled a bus inspector at a busy stopping‐place.

“I want to report the conductor of that bus that’s just gone, ”she shrilled,“He’s been rude!”

“How？”asked the bored official.

“Why, ”went on the lady,“he was telling people the bus full, and when I got off he said, ‘Room for three inside. ’”

售票员

在一个熙熙攘攘的车站，一个特别肥胖的女人正怒气冲冲地跟公共汽车检查员进行交涉。

“我要向你报告刚刚开走的那辆公共汽车上的售票员，”她尖声说道。“他太无礼了！”

“怎么回事？”检查员不耐烦地说。

“哎，”那个女人接着说道，“他对人们说车上已经满员。但我一下车，他就说：‘里面还有三个人的座位。’”

10 You Have to Bring It Back

When my husband and I decided to rent a car and drive to visit his parents’family, we discovered that many rental agreements came with restrictions.

After several calls, I asked a sweet young agent if her company had any restrictions on taking its rental cars long distance.

After a pause, she replied,“Well, you have to bring it back.”

你得把它开回来

我和丈夫决定租一辆汽车，开车去看望他父母亲一家。我们发现租车协议里总是有许多限制条款。

打了好几个电话后，我问一位声音甜美的年轻代理人，她的公司对长途租车有什么限制。

停顿了一会儿，她回答说：“呃……你必须得把车开回来。”

11 Dog Food

My aunt was always reluctant to wait in line, and she more loathed the people who try to squeeze in front.

One day a young man at the supermarket stepped up to her just as she reached the check‐out counter.“Mind if I go ahead？”he asked,“I just have this one can of dog food.”

“Goodness, no.”she roared,“If you’re that hungry, go right ahead!”

狗粮

姨妈不喜欢排队等候，对那些一心想插队的人更是痛恨。

有一天，姨妈在超市买东西，她刚排到收银台前面，一个年轻人走上前来问道：“您介意我先结账吗？我只买了这一罐狗粮。”

“哎呀，不介意。”她大声嚷道，“你要是那么饿的话，就先结吧！”

12 Where Are You Now？

A man was strolling along the sidewalk when he caught sight of his friend on a bus. They hadn’t seen each other for years, and waved excitedly.

The pedestrian called out,“Where are you now？”He meant to ask his friend’s address.

By this time the bus was some distance away. The man on the bus stretched his head out of the window, cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled,“I’m on the bus!”

你现在在哪里？

一位男士正在街上散步，突然看到一辆公共汽车上坐着他的老朋友。由于两人好久没见面，因此都激动地挥手致意。

走着路的那位大声问道：“你眼下在哪里？”他是想问朋友的住址。

此时，汽车已经驶过一段距离。车上的朋友将头伸出窗外，两手在嘴边掬成杯状大声喊道：“我在公共汽车上！”

13 A So‐called Pigeon Expert

A so—called pigeon expert claims he’s able to tell the male pigeons from the female pigeons. When questioned by his friends, “How？”The pseudo expert explains:“You see, it’s like this.The male pigeons always eat female worms and the female pigeons always eat male worms.”

Unconvinced, his friends question him further.“Now, how can you tell male worms from female worms？”Unemotionally our expert replies.

“Oh, I know nothing about worms, I’m only an expert on pigeons.”

养鸽专家

一位所谓的养鸽专家声称自己能够分辨出雄鸽和雌鸽。朋友们问他怎么分辨，这位冒牌专家解释道：“你们看，就是这样分辨的：雄鸽总是吃母虫，而雌鸽总是吃公虫。”

朋友们很不服气，继续追问道：“那么你又怎么辨认出是公虫还是母虫呢？”这位专家面不改色地回答道：“哦，关于虫子我可是一窍不通，我只是个养鸽专家。”

14 Can You Tell Me Where We Are

Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we attach small lights called chemlites to our jumpsuits to make ourselves visible to the rest of our team. Late one night, lost after a practice jump, we knocked on the door of a small cottage. When a woman answered, she was greeted by the sight of five men festooned in glowing chemlites.“Excuse me. ”I said,“Can you tell me where we are？ ”In a thick English accent, the woman replied,“Earth. ”

您可以告诉我这是什么地方吗

英国的夜晚漆黑一片，这让跳伞既困难又危险。于是我们就在跳伞服上装了些小化学灯，好让队员互相看得见。

一天深夜，我们在一场跳伞演习后迷了路，就去一家农舍敲门。一个妇人来应门，看见我们五个点缀着闪光化学灯的人。我说：“打扰了，您可以告诉我这是什么地方吗？”那个妇人用浓重的英国口音回答道：“地球。”

15 Jump Twice

A blonde and a brunette are watching the news at 6. It is live on the scene. It has been reported that an old homeless man is on top of a large bridge and swears that he will jump off the bridge.

The brunette turns around and says to the blonde，“I bet you＄50 that he will jump.”

The blonde says，“You’re on.”

Sure enough, the old man jumps and falls to his death. The brunette snickers to herself and says,“I must admit I did watch the news at 5.”

The blonde says,“So did I, but I didn’t think he would jump twice!”

跳两次

一名金发女人和一名黑发女人正在看六点钟的新闻，是现场直播。报道上说一名无家可归的老人站在一座大桥的顶部发誓着说他要从桥上跳下去。

黑发女人转头对金发女人说：“我和你赌50块他会跳下去。”

金发女人说：“好，就这么定了。”

果不其然那名老人跳下去死掉了。黑发女人暗自窃笑，说：“我得承认我在五点时看过这条新闻。”

金发女人说：“我也看了，但我不相信他会跳两次！”

16 Corruption Trial

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

“Isn’t it true, ”he bellowed,“that you accepted two thousand dollars to compromise this case？”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question.

The prosecutor again blared,“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case？”

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said,“Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh.”the startled witness said,“I thought he was talking to you.”

受贿案件

在一场政治行贿案件审理进行到白热化阶段的时候，检控律师正在诘问一名证人。

“这是真的吗？”他严厉地问，“你接受了两千美元来和解这件案子？”

证人盯着窗外，仿佛没有听到问题一般。

检控律师再次大声问道：“你收了五千美元来和解这件案子，这是真的吗？”

证人还是没有做出任何回答。

最后，法官倾身向前说：“先生，请回答问题。”

“噢，”大吃一惊的证人说，“我以为他在和你说话呢。”

17 The Cat’s Doubt

On a pleasure ship, a magician gave a performance every evening.Every time he did that, a talking cat in the audience yelled,“It’s a trick. That’s not a magic. He is a phony.”

One evening, the ship struck a coral reef and sank while the magician was performed. It so happened the magician and the cat ended up in the same life boat. For the first three days, they just glared each other and neither one of them said a word. On the fourth day, the cat finally said,“All right, smart aleck, you and your crazy tricks. What did you do with the ship？”

猫的疑惑

一艘游艇上，一个魔术师每天晚上都会表演魔术。每次他表演时，观众席中一只会说话的猫都会叫道：“那是鬼把戏，不是魔术，他是个骗子。”

一天晚上，魔术师正在表演时，船触礁沉没了。巧的是，魔术师和那只猫竟然坐在了同一条救生船上。前三天，他们只是注视着对方，谁都没有说话。到了第四天，猫终于先开了口：“好吧，你这个自作聪明的家伙，还有你那些疯狂的把戏。你到底把船弄到哪儿去了？”

18 In Your Left Arm

“Mr. Jason, you are going to have some injection, and then you’ll feel much better. A nurse will come and give you the first one this evening. ”said the doctor.

In the evening a young nurse came to Mr. Jason’s bed and said to him,“I’m going to give you your first injection now, Mr. Jason. Where do you want it？”

The old man was surprised. He looked at the nurse for several seconds, and then said,“Nobody’s ever let me choose that before.Are you really going to let me choose now？”

“Yes, Mr. Jason. ”the nurse answered.

“Well, then, ”the old man answered with a smile,“I want it in your left arm.”

打在你左臂上

“詹森先生，你得打几针，然后就会感觉好多了。今晚护士会过来给你打第一针。”医生说。

晚上，一个年轻护士来到琼斯先生的床前说：“詹森先生，我现在要给你打第一针。你想要打在什么地方？”

这位老人非常惊讶，他看了护士好几秒钟，然后说：“以前从来没人让我选择。你现在真的想让我作选择吗？”

“是的，詹森先生。”护士回答说。

“那好，”老人微笑着答道，“我想打在你的左臂上。”

19 Imperturbably

Late one night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked.

The Englishman reentered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water.

Every few minutes the Englishman would come out of his room and repeat his request.

After a half‐hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water.

“Nothing.”the Englishman answered imperturbably,“It’s simply that my room is on fire. ”

面不改色

一天深夜，一个英国人从旅馆房间出来，走进走廊，让服务员给他送一杯水。服务员按照那人的吩咐送来了一杯水。

之后，英国人又走进了自己的房间，但过了几分钟，他又走进了走廊，再次让服务员给他送一杯水。服务员为他端来了第二杯水。

英国人每隔几分钟就要从房间里走出来向服务员要水。

半小时后，服务员感到非常惊讶，决定去问一下英国人到底要水干什么。

“不干什么，”英国人面不改色地说，“只不过是我的房间着火了。”

20 All Day

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,“Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced,“One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry, we can fly just fine on two engines.”

An hour later the captain announced,“One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another two hours. But dont’t worry, we still have one engine left.”

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked,“If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

一整天

从堪萨斯州到多伦多的航班起飞十五分钟时，机长对大家说：“女士们，先生们，我们的一个引擎出了故障，但没什么可担心的。我们的航班会比预定时间晚一个小时到达，但我们还有三个引擎。”

三十分钟后，机长宣布：“又有一个引擎出了故障，飞机会再延迟两个小时。但不要担心，有两个引擎在，我们还可以安全飞行。”

一小时后，机长宣布：“又有一个引擎坏了，我们可能要推迟两个小时才能到达。但不用但心，我们还有一个引擎。”

一个年轻的金发女乘客转头对坐在旁边的男人说：“如果我们再失去一个引擎，那我们岂不是得在这上面待一整天！”

21 Then Where Is My Cat？

Justin liked fish very much, and when he had enough money, he bought some for his dinner when he went to the market, and took it home. But when his wife saw the fish, she always said to herself,“Good! Now I will invite my friends to lunch and we will eat this fish.They like fish very much.”

So when Justin came home in the evening after his work, the fish was never there, and his wife always said,“Oh, your cat ate it! She is a very bad animal!”And she gave Justin soup and rice for his dinner.

But one evening when this happened, Justin became very angry.He took the cat and his wife to the shop near his house and weighed the cat carefully. Then he turned to his wife and said,“My fish weighed three pounds. This cat weighs three pounds too. My fish is here, you say. Then where is my cat？”

那我的猫去哪里了？

贾斯汀很喜欢吃鱼，只要手头宽裕，去市场时他就会买些鱼带回家做晚饭。但是他的妻子每次看到鱼都会暗想道：“太好了！我现在就邀请朋友们来吃午餐，把这鱼吃了。她们可喜欢吃鱼了。”

所以，当贾斯汀晚上下班回家时，就老是看不到鱼，而他的妻子总是说：“呀，你的猫把鱼吃掉了。它可真是个坏东西！”然后她就给贾斯汀端来汤和米饭当晚餐。

但是，一天晚上又发生这事时，贾斯汀变得非常生气。他带着猫，领着妻子去了一个离家很近的商店，仔仔细细地称了称那只猫。接着，他转过身对妻子说：“我的鱼重三磅，这只猫也重三磅。你说我的鱼在猫肚子里，那我的猫去哪儿了？”

22 Don’t Forget to look to the Right

Mr. Keith was very fond of climbing mountains, so one year he went to China for holidays. After he had climbed some easy mountains, he decided one day to climb a more difficult one; but he did not want to go up it alone, so he found a good Chinese guide, who had often climbed that mountain.

At first it was not a difficult climb, but then they came to a place which was not so easy. The guide stopped, turned round and warned Mr. Keith.“Be careful here,”he said,“This is a dangerous place. You can easily fall, and if you do, you will fall straight down a very long way. But,”he continued calmly,“if you do fall here, don’t forget to look to the right while you are going down. There is a quite extraordinarily beautiful view there—much more beautiful than the one you can see from here.”

别忘了向右看

凯斯先生十分喜爱登山，于是，有一年他去了中国度假。在爬了几座没有什么挑战的山之后，有一天，他决定要爬一座更有难度的。但他不想一个人爬上去，所以就找了一个不错的中国导游，这个导游常爬这座山。

起初并不难爬，但后来他们来到了一个不那么容易爬的地方。导游停下来，转过身去提醒凯斯先生。“这里要小心，”他说，“这个地方危险。你很容易就会掉下去，而且会笔直地掉下去很长一段距离。”他继续平静地说，“如果你真的从这里掉下去了，掉下去的时候可别忘了向右看。那边的景色真是美得惊人——比你从这里看到的要美得多。”

23 Small Frying‐pan

One morning a man was crossing a narrow bridge when he saw a fisherman on the shady bank of the deep, smooth river under him, so he stopped to watch him quietly.

After a few minutes, the fisherman pulled his line in. There was a big, fat fish at the end of it.

The fisherman took it off the hook and threw it back into the water. Then he put his hook and line in again. After a few more minutes he caught another big fish. Again he threw it back into the river. Then, the third time, he caught a small fish. He put it into his basket and started to get ready to go. The man on the bridge was very surprised, so he spoke to the fisherman. He said,“Why did you throw those beautiful, big fish back into the water, and keep only that small one？”

The fisheman looked up and answered,“Small frying‐pan.”

煎锅太小

一天早晨，一个人走过一座小桥的时候看到桥下有个钓鱼人坐在河的背阴岸，河水又深又平静。于是他就停下来一声不吭地看他钓鱼。

钓鱼人把鱼从钩上拿下来，扔回水中。然后，他又把钩子和鱼线放进河里。过了几分钟，他又钓上来一条大鱼。可他又把鱼扔回河中。后来，第三次收线的时候，他钓到一条小鱼。他把鱼放进篮子里，要准备离开。桥上的那个人感到十分惊讶，于是就对钓鱼人说：“你为什么要把那几条肥美的大鱼放回水中，就只留下那条小鱼呢？”

钓鱼人抬起头回答：“因为我的煎锅太小。”

24 The World Is Going to End

One day, the boys of Marcus’s village said to him,“You have a nice fat sheep. Will you invite us to a party to eat it with you ？” Marcus didn’t want the boys to eat his sheep, so he said,“It is not fat enough yet.”

“But have you not heard the world is gong to end tomorrow？ So the sheep will never get fat!”Marcus was getting tired of this, so he said,“All right, boys, we will have a picnic tomorrow and eat the sheep.”

So the next morning they all went to the river, the boys took off their clothes and jumped into the river, and Marcus killed the sheep.

When the boys went out, their clothes were not there.“Marcus, where are our clothes？”they asked.

“Oh,”he answered,“I made the fire to cook the sheep with your clothes. You won’t need them again. The world is going to end today, don’t you remember？”

世界末日

一天，马库斯所在的村子里的孩子们对他说：“你有一只很好的大肥羊。你邀请我们一起和你开个聚会把它吃掉吧？”马库斯不想让这些孩子们把他的羊吃掉，因此他说：“那只羊还不够肥。”

“但是你没听说明天就是世界末日吗？所以你的羊不会再变肥了。”马库斯有些不耐烦了，他说道：“好吧，孩子们，我们明天去野餐，把这只绵羊吃掉。”

因此他们第二天早晨都去了河边，孩子们脱了衣服跳进河里，马库斯把羊杀了。

当孩子们从水里出来的时候，他们的衣服不在那里了。“马库斯，我们的衣服在哪儿？”他们问。

“哦，”他回答，“我用你们的衣服生火烤羊肉了。你们不需要它们了，今天就是世界末日，你们忘了吗？”

25 The Gas Men

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house, a woman looking out of her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck. they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied,“When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too! ”

煤气工人

两个煤气公司的工作人员——一位是年长的培训监督师，一位是年轻的受训员——正外出在市郊的小镇上查表。他们将车停在街道的一头，然后依次检查到街那头。

到最后一户人家时，女主人从厨房的窗子看他们检查她家的煤气表。

检查完之后，年长的监督员向年轻的同事提出挑战，两人来一个脚力赛跑，沿着街道跑回卡车处，来证明年纪大一点儿的同样能够超过年轻人。

在他们快跑到卡车的候，他们发现最后一户人家的女主人正跟在他俩身后气喘嘘嘘地大步跑来。他们停下来问她发生了什么事。

她上气不接下气地说：“看见两个煤气工人像你们这样没命地跑，我想我最好也跑！”

26 Dead Men Do Bleed

A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.

His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see psychiatrist.

After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still alive, the psychiatrist tried one last approach.

He opened his medical book and proceeded to show the man that dead men don’t bleed.

After a mind‐numbing study, the man seemed convince that dead men don’t bleed, and the psychiatris asked,“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed？”

“Yes, I do.’the man replied.”

“Very well, then.”the psychiatrist said.He took out a pin and pricked the man’s finger. Out came a drop of blood.

The doctor asked,“What does that tell you？”

“Oh, my goodness!”The patient exclaimed as he stared doubtfiflly at his finger,“Dead men do bleed!”

死人会流血

有个人认为自己死了，但其实他活得好好的。

他整天胡思乱想成了他家的一个大问题，他家人最终决定带他去看精神病医生。

为了使那个家伙相信自己还活着，医生们耗费了大量精力，最后医生不得不使出了最后一招。

他打开他的医书，然后告诉他，死人是不会流血的。

经过一番考虑后，那个人似乎相信死人不会流血，医生问道：“你现在认同死人不会流血了吗？”

“是的，我相信。”那个人回答。

“很好，那么……”医生说道。他拿出一根别针，扎了那个人的手指，立马流出了一滴血。

医生问：“这说明了什么？”

“哦，天啊！”病人盯着自己的手指大喊，“死人会流血！”

27 A Blind Man Visits the State of Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,“Wow, these seats are big!”The person next to him answered,“Everything is big in Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed,“Wow, these mugs are big!”The bartender replied,“Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,“Second door to the right.”

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting:“Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

参观德克萨斯的盲人

从前，有一个盲人决定去德克萨斯旅游。他登上飞机，摸索座位的时候说道：“哇，这些座位可真大啊！”他旁边的一人说：“德克萨斯里的每件东西都很大。”

他到德克萨斯以后，他决定去酒吧坐坐。进去之后，他点了一杯啤酒。侍者放了一大杯在他手里。他大声说：“哇，这杯子可真大啊！”

侍者回道：“在德克萨斯什么东西都很大。”

喝了几杯酒后，盲人问侍者卫生间在哪儿，侍者告诉他：“右转第二个房间。”

盲人朝卫生间走去，但却意外地绊了一下，走过了第二个门，走进了第三个房间，里面有一个游泳池，盲人一不小心掉了进去。

盲人吓坏了，大喊：“不要冲水，不要冲水！”

28 The Scientist and the Farmer

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a farmer in it.To pass the time, the scientist decides to play a game with the farmer.

“I will ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong. you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first.”

The farmer thinks for a while and said,“I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down？”

The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question.

Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives it to the farmer,“I don’t know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down？”

The farmer takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist.“I don’t know.”

科学家和农夫

一名科学家踏上一辆开往纽约的列车。车厢里还有一个农夫。为了打发时间，科学家决定和农夫玩一个游戏。

“我问你一个问题，如果你答错了，你就必须给我一美元。然后你问我一个问题，如果我错了，你就会得到十美元。你先问我吧。”

农夫想了一会儿说：“我想到了。什么东西有三条腿，花十个小时爬上棕榈树，而只需十秒钟下来？”

科学家有些迷惑，努力地想了好久。

最后，这趟旅途快到尽头了，当车进站时，科学家拿出十美元给农夫：“我不知道。什么东西有三条腿，花十个小时爬上棕榈树，而只需十秒钟下来？”

农夫接过钱放进口袋里，然后拿出一美元递给科学家：“我不知道。”

29 Learn to Fly

Mr. Oliver went to a flight school. He insisted on learning to fly that day. As all planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct him on how to pilot a helicopter solo by radio.

He showed Mr. Oliver how to start it and teach him the basics, then sent him on his way.

After Mr. Oliver climbed 1, 000 feet, he radioed in,“I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this. ”

At an altitude of 2, 000 feet, he radioed in again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly.

The helicopter climbed over 3, 000 feet. The instructor began to worry because Mr. Oliver hadn’t radioed in.

A few minutes later, the instructor watched in horror as Mr. Oliver crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled him out of the wreckage.

When asked what happened, Mr. Oliver said,“I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but I got higher, I was starting to feel cold. I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan. ”

学习飞行

奥利弗先生来到一所飞行学校，坚持要在当天学会飞行。由于目前所有飞机都投入了使用，飞行学校的主人同意通过无线电来指导他独自驾驶一架直升机。

他给奥利弗先生做示范如何发动引擎，并教给他一些基本规则，然后就让他上路了。

升到1000英尺高度时，奥利弗先生通过无线电说：“棒极了！我真喜欢驾驶飞机！这里的风景太美了。我已经开始掌握驾驶直升机的诀窍了。”

升到2000英尺高度时，他又通过无线电说：“飞行真是易如反掌。”

直升机爬到了3000多英尺。飞机指导员开始担心起来，因为奥利弗先生没有再通过无线电通话。

几分钟后，他大惊失色地看到奥利弗先生的直升机在半英里处坠毁了。他跑了过去，把奥利弗先生从飞机残骸中拉了出来。

当有人问发生了什么事时，奥利弗先生说：“我不知道！一切运转得都很好。但当飞到更高处时，我开始感到很冷。我把那个大风扇关掉后，就什么也记不得了。”

30 Bad Heart

As the train left Aberdeen and as I looked at my fellow travelers and noticed nothing particular or irregular about them, I came to the conclusion that the journey would be dull. But was it？

The moment the train stopped at the nearest station, one of my fellow travelers, an elder gentleman, got off and rushed to the station building. About 30 seconds passed and he was back, rather out of breath.

As the train stopped at the next station, the old man again got off in a great hurry, dashed to the station building and back onto the train just as it was starting off.

As the train was steaming into the third station, the old man got ready for the mad rush. He did exactly what he had done at the last two stations and when he was back he was quite breathless, and perspirations were running down his cheeks.

The fellow passengers looked at one another. Their curiosity was aroused and so was mine. I felt I could hardly continue the journey unless the mystery was revealed. I asked,“Excuse my being so inquisitive, but what makes you get off every time the train stops？”

“To buy the ticket to the next station. ”was the man’s answer.

“Why don’t you buy a ticket to the station you’re going to？”I queried.

“Well, you see, young man, my heart is very bad, my doctor says I might‘kick the bucket’at any moment, and just think how much money would go down the drain if I should really die before I got to my station...I must take no chances!”

心脏不好

火车离开了阿伯丁。我看看同车的人，没发现什么特别或异常，就得出结论，此次旅行一定会索然无味。但真是这样吗？

火车在最近的一站停下来时，车厢内一位上了年纪的男士便下了车，冲向车站大楼。大约30秒后，他又返回，上气不接下气。

当火车在第二站停下来时，那位老人又匆匆下了车，再次冲向车站大楼，然后又匆匆返回。火车刚好开动。

当火车快要进入第三站时，老人严阵以待准备冲刺。他所做的跟前两站一模一样。回到车上，气喘吁吁，汗水顺着两颊向下流。

同车的人你看看我，我瞧瞧你。大家的好奇心被激了起来。我也一样，觉得再不解开这个谜，这一路可真受不了。我问道：“对不起，我这人爱打听，是什么让你每到一站都要下去的呢？”

“买到下一站的票啊。”老人答道。

“为什么不买一张通票呢？”我问。

“噢，你知道，年轻人，我的心脏不好，医生说我随时都可能‘完蛋’；试想一下，要是还没到终点站我就没气了，那要花多少冤枉钱……我可不能冒这个险！”